Four Reasons Parents Get Angry With Their Children

parenting is hardWe’ve all been there, right?  Our kids take us to the brink of frustration, anger, annoyance….. I’m not judging!  As a mom of three, I’ve said my share of things that I regret or gotten way more upset about that lego I stepped on that what I should have.  (….well, it DOES really, REALLY hurt when you step on a lego.)

But WHY?  WHY do we get so angry?

There are some actual physical reasons that can lead to us parents being quick to anger…. and believe it or not, its not ALWAYS your kids’ fault!  We do have a choice in how we react and how we set ourselves up for diaster.

You are TIRED

One of the most common reasons that parents get angry with their children is because they are tired. Angry and tired go hand in hand.  Sometimes we may find ourselves staying up too late just to “enjoy the quiet.”  Don’t make a habit of this.  Getting enough rest will help you be in a better mood and in turn help you appreciate your children more.

Your Schedule is Too Full

I know, I know…which one of us do not have a schedule that is too full?  But over-scheduling leads to over tired.  Over tired leads to frustration.  Frustration leads to anger.  We put ourselves in a downward spiral of exhaustion.  Sometimes as a parent we feel the need to be involved in everything to be a “good parent.”  Prioritizing activities to also include enough downtime for everyone is helpful and learning to create a schedule that YOU control is important. 

You are HUNGRY!

Remember that over-booked schedule you have?  Well I bet you have days where you’re too busy to eat!  I know I do.  I’m movin’ and groovin’ and runnin’ around and next thing I know its dinner, I’m tired, I can’t think clearly and everything the kids do drives me bonkers.  Lack of food can attribute to being tired.  Keep healthy snacks at hand, plan out your meals and take time to eat.

You are STRESSED!

#Duh Seriously.  I know.  I feel like my life is sometimes a big giant stress ball.  I don’t sleep well, so I’m tired.  I’m worried about this or that or all of it.  And if we are honest,  sometimes everyday life can just get pretty stressful.  Whether it be working long days so that it’s a parenting tipsstruggle to get dinner ready everyday, or not having enough time to do the laundry or clean the house.  These things lead to stress that make us react negatively to our children.  It’s good to be aware that it is stress and not your child making you angry.

Finding ways to relieve stress is key.  Perhaps meal planning would make dinnertime easier.   Involve your kids in housework.  Kids love feeling useful!  And finally, exercise.  Sometimes moving off that stressful day at the office will work miracles. Partnering with a coach helps to keep you accountable and motivated and the support groups that I run are often full of other moms, people like you and me.

Boldly Changing Lives

Being a parent is hard. We have to remember to take care of ourselves in order to really be there for our children.  When your kids are starting to really frustrate you, take five minutes and evaluate YOUR state of fatigue, hunger, schedule or stress and create an action plan to help YOURSELF so you can be there for your kids.

Can you identify with any of these reasons?

Why I Hope My Kids Fail

Why I Hope My Kids FailI’m sure when you read the title of this post you immediately came to the conclusion that I am the MEANEST mother on the planet.  I’m sure given the right day, at the right time, my children would agree with you!  HOWEVER, this post was inspired by a sweet mamma of three, who wrote an absolutely heartbreaking post on Facebook about how defeated her nine year old son felt over not receiving a game ball.

See, I have been that mamma.  I have been that mamma more often than I have been the mamma of the game ball recipient.   Many of my son’s friends have started creating extra space in their house for their collections of trophies, medals, game balls, home run balls…. but not us.  No.  We have three.  Three.  And two of those three came from this year alone.  And we are perfectly fine with that.

In 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 we read “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

In my son’s first year of little league (nine years old) there were tears after almost every practice and game.  He was frustrated.  Felt totally defeated and like he wasn’t good enough.  In fact, his first year he went an entire season not having a hit until the very last game. It was horrible.  It was failure.  And I am so grateful for it.

My husband and I have worked to instill in each of our children that life isn’t always going to be easy and you certainly can’t always win.  Sometimes you will do everything right….but still fail.  And that is OKAY.  By providing children with a safe place to try and try again, they learn some of life’s best lessons.

  • A “CAN DO” ATTITUDE
    “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
    Failure teaches us that when we rely on Christ, we can do anything.  It does not mean we will win or be the star — but we CAN DO.
  • ENDURANCE
    “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans  5:3-5
    Failure teaches us to keep pushing and trying and to HOPE.  That endurance is what I hope that each of my children have as adults.  Life gets hard.  REAL hard… we have to endure the failure to appreciate the success.
  • ACCOUNTABILITY
    “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” Galatians 6:7
    Knowing that we will sometimes fail is not a license to not care.  We must practice and try and study!  We reap what we sow so you better show up and work hard!
  • DETERMINATION
    “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
    Failure allows God to teach us lessons like TRUST and LOVE.  Once we figure out that God’s way is the best way, we allow him to mold us and to shape us.
  • BELIEF
    “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
    One might argue that children learn confidence through success and success alone, not failure.  However, it is when we follow the dream and belief that God has laid on our heart that we can see Him work in our life.  When we allow our belief and dreams to be bigger than our fear of failure, we can follow the path for the plan God has for us.

I don’t know about you, but I want my children to learn these lessons.  Just like you, I want my children to find success and worth from inside their heart — not because of something in life.  I don’t want anyone to fail all of the time.  We need to provide opportunities for children to thrive and experience success.  At the same time, we can’t be afraid of letting them fail in safe ways.

Screen Shot 2016-06-13 at 12.38.19 PMIn four years, our finale Little League season has been one of great growth from that first year.  But we still have a lot of failures ahead of us….   What lessons have failure taught you that you can share with your children?

How Do You Stop Your Children From Driving You Crazy?

My sweet friend posted a question like this on Facebook last week.  After getting a good chuckle, I commented with my number 1 parenting tip- Implement a Consequences Can.

It seemed I was the only one using such a tool and I thought this was just TOO good to not share!

To grab a FREE copy of my corrections can, including emailed instructions on HOW to use it just drop your name and email below: (unless you enjoy having your kids make you crazy with their tantrums and sassy!)

Let me know how this is working for you by commenting below!  Remember to share this post with others.  We can’t keep these parenting secrets to ourselves!